As We Speak: Britney Spears & Linux

Note: This article was written on April Fool's Day, April 1, 2008.

BeOS Journal News has confirmed that Britney Spears has just revealed her own brand of Linux, intended to spread Open Source ideals to her millions of fans.

The distribution — Spears Federlinux — was unveiled to cheering crowds of pre-teen girls in Moutain View this morning, with the pop goddess beaming nearby. Federlinux promises to be the Linux distribution that shows users everything it has to offer, and will never leave users locked out waiting for help that never comes. The distribution's catchy slogan "Boot Me Baby One More Time" has taken legions of under-15's by storm, catapulting it into stardom as an over-lunch success.

Though the system is reportedly unstable, prone to frequent crashes, and often fails to acknowledge commands, the quickly-forming Federlinux Community is confident that hands-on attention from millions of coders will smooth out any rough edges. The only remaining problem that could hamper the system's success is its inexplicable and random violent unmounting of peripherals.

While the system is not currently available for download, users interested in trying out the distribution are encouraged to send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:

Spears Federlinux
401 Ocean Front Drive
Tucson, Arizona 40108

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