Finding a home for Microsoft Vista

April 15th: So here I am on the deadline, again, doing my taxes. Taxes are a task I truly hate, although hate doesn't quite express it. I've got pencil in hand, tapping the desk, trying to invent think of some more deductions, but there doesn't seem to be anything written on the ceiling. Tapping..., tapping..., tapping... Then just as I'm about to go postal... I suddenly start to think about Microsoft Vista, no idea why...

Needless to say, Vista hasn't had it easy. Lots of bad press. Folks "upgrading to a newer more familiar experience" (aka erase Vista, install XP). Lots of bugs, bad performance, etc. Last week XP was resurrected from the grave because Vista won't work on some systems.

Now, me, I'm a sucker for the underdog, I hate to see anybody get beaten up too badly. So, I'm thinking somebody must want Vista, right? Somebody, needs Vista, right? Somebody deserves Vista, right? Oops, here comes one of my cats, we call her Iris, but her name is actually IRS, we named her that cuz she's generally foul tempered and likes to steal the other cats prey after they've done all the hard work. So anyway who deserves Vista? I wouldn't want to wish it on any businesses, just folks trying to make a buck. Maybe a government agency? Maybe, but which one? Mostly just folks doing their job. Which one? The answer is there, its about ready to bite me I'm sure... Crap, I say bite and Iris bites me, but I'm focused on Vista, tapping... tapping... tapping...

Guess its time to write the check. Used to be you'd write the check to the IRS rather than the US Treasury. I liked that better, because I could write the check to the Infernal Revenue Service (Viva la Revolucion!). All that's left for me now is that I tell them my occupation is "Person." Can't stop thinking about finding a home for Vista... Who deserves Vista? Its on the tip of my tongue, maybe the tip of my pencil, I feel like I could almost write it down. Tapping... tapping... tapping...

Well I can't think of anybody, if you have any ideas about who deserves Vista, email me at

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Mitch Frazier is an Associate Editor for Linux Journal.